Chapter 12 - THE LETTERS TO RACHEL
The letters began before the BrightPath program.
Vanessa wrote them after hard days.
Rachel,
Nora cried for you tonight and I didn’t know what to do.
Rachel,
She has your laugh. Ethan went quiet when he heard it.
Rachel,
I hate that I’m jealous of someone who died.
The letters were raw.
Later Vanessa wrote:
Rachel,
I think I finally found a system that can make this house calmer.
And later:
She runs to Ethan when I say no. I feel like a substitute everyone can fire.
Vanessa had named her insecurity privately but never brought it honestly into the marriage.
Then the final letter.
Written the night before the juice incident.
Rachel,
I think I’ve gone too far.
I don’t know how to stop without admitting all of it.
Ethan stared at the date.
She knew.
Like Solomon in another life? No—Ethan caught his own tendency to search for a story that made it easier.
This was Vanessa.
Her choice.
Her warning to herself.
Then below:
Tomorrow I’m going to tell Ethan after school.
Ethan sat back.
She had planned to confess.
Then the next day she tried to force the drink.
A planned good decision did not erase what replaced it.
He gave the letters back.
“They’re yours.”
Vanessa shook her head.
“I wrote them to someone who can’t answer.”
“That doesn’t make them mine.”
She took the box.
Then Nora asked to make something for Vanessa’s birthday.
A card.
Ethan hesitated.
“Do you want to?”
“Yes.”
“What do you want it to say?”
Nora wrote:
HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
I LIKE WHEN WE COLOR.
I DON’T LIKE JUICE RULES.
Ethan almost laughed.
Clear.
Vanessa received the card during a supervised visit.
She cried.
Then asked Nora:
“Can I hug you?”
Nora thought.
“No.”
Vanessa nodded.
“Okay.”
They colored instead.
That was progress.
Then Ethan received a certified letter from BrightPath’s outside auditor.
They had found one unresolved issue in the Carter pilot.
A payment.
$18,000.
Paid to Vanessa six weeks before the juice incident.
Ethan had never seen it.
Vanessa stared when he asked.
“What payment?”
The audit showed:
PILOT DEVELOPMENT ADVANCE.
Transferred to an account in her name.
May you like
Vanessa said:
“I never got eighteen thousand dollars.”
