Chapter 6 - AMBER'S VERSION
Amber did not begin by saying Richard had dementia.
She used softer phrases.
“Cognitive changes.”
“Memory issues.”
“Post-hospital decline.”
“Founder transition.”
In meetings, if Richard challenged a proposal, Amber sometimes turned to Caleb instead.
“What does he mean?”
Richard hated that.
“I am sitting here.”
Amber smiled.
“I know.”
Then continued speaking to Caleb.
At home she began organizing:
medications,
appointments,
visitor schedules,
and meal times.
Some help was useful.
Richard allowed it.
Then she started canceling people.
Old friend coming for lunch?
“Richard is resting.”
Former CFO visiting?
“Too much stimulation.”
Lawyer appointment?
“Can we reschedule? He’s having a confused day.”
Richard was not having confused days.
He was having days Amber disliked his decisions.
One visitor Amber canceled was Thomas Reed, Richard’s oldest friend.
They had played cards every Thursday for twenty years.
Amber told Thomas:
“Richard gets tired and confused in the evenings.”
Thomas called Richard directly.
“Are you confused?”
Richard answered:
“Only by why you still cheat at gin.”
Thomas laughed.
Then came over anyway.
Amber was furious.
Richard realized something important.
Direct contact weakened her narrative.
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Isolation did not have to be dramatic to matter.
Sometimes it was just one person becoming the default interpreter between an older adult and everyone else.
