Chapter 11 - ANDREW STOPS BEING THE MIDDLE
Andrew had spent years saying:
“Can you two just work it out?”
He thought neutrality made him peaceful.
It made him absent.
In therapy, he finally said:
“I made Paula fight my mother alone.”
Paula looked at him.
No satisfaction.
Only exhaustion.
Andrew continued:
“Every time Mom crossed a line, I translated it into good intentions.”
He remembered:
Linda criticizing Paula’s feeding choices.
Linda changing Mia’s bedtime.
Linda inviting herself to pediatric appointments.
Linda telling Mia, “Grandma knows best.”
None were abuse.
Together, they created hierarchy.
Then Andrew said:
“I also used Mom because she made our lives easier.”
There.
If Linda picked up Mia, Andrew could work late.
If Linda cooked Sunday dinner, he did not have to manage conflict.
He had benefited from the system he later condemned.
That did not excuse Linda locking Mia away.
But it changed what repair required.
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Andrew could not simply ban his mother and call himself protective.
He had to become more present.
