Chapter 8 - THE COUNSELOR JESSICA FIRED
Tyler had seen a child therapist once.
Only three sessions.
Jessica stopped treatment.
Why?
The therapist recommended:
consistent limits,
loss of privileges after deliberate aggression,
parent coaching,
school coordination,
and assessment for impulse control and conduct-related concerns without rushing to a diagnosis.
Jessica heard:
your son is bad.
She fired the therapist.
Mark called it “garbage psychology.”
Emily found this out from Jessica during another argument.
Not confidential records.
Jessica told her herself.
Then Emily asked:
“What did the therapist actually say?”
Jessica shouted:
“That we were reinforcing him!”
Emily went quiet.
Because that sounded exactly right.
Jessica continued:
“She said we rescue him too quickly.”
“Do you?”
“He’s a child.”
“Jessica.”
“What?”
“Do you?”
Jessica’s eyes filled.
“Yes.”
There.
Then:
“Because when he cries, I see the baby I almost lost.”
Emily felt sympathy.
Then anger.
“Tyler isn’t that baby anymore.”
Jessica slapped the countertop with her palm.
“You think I don’t know that?”
“I think you know it and can’t act like it.”
Jessica cried.
For the first time, she looked less entitled than terrified.
Then Mark walked in.
He had his own history too, though he used it differently.
Mark grew up with a father who believed humiliation was discipline.
Miss a catch:
idiot.
Bring home a B:
lazy.
Cry:
weak.
Mark swore he would never raise Tyler that way.
He kept the promise badly.
He did not shame Tyler directly.
Instead, he shamed everyone who tried to correct him.
“Too sensitive.”
“Grow up.”
“He’s a kid.”
“Deal with it.”
Mark believed he was protecting Tyler from becoming afraid of adults.
What he actually taught him was that adults who set limits deserved contempt.
When the psychologist later explained this, Mark hated hearing it.
“Are you saying I should’ve been harder?”
“No.”
“Then what?”
“Clearer.”
Mark did not understand at first.
He thought parenting had only two settings:
harsh
or permissive.
Nobody had taught him the middle.
Then Mark walked in.
Saw tears.
Immediately blamed Emily.
“Get out.”
Jessica said nothing.
May you like
That silence showed the second problem.
Even when Jessica saw part of the truth, Mark restored the old system.
